Sweetwater American by Eileen Cruz Coleman

Author:Eileen Cruz Coleman [Coleman, Eileen Cruz]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Eileen Cruz Coleman
Published: 2010-02-03T06:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Sandy

1998

When I arrived at Elena’s house, Juanita answered the door. I felt like someone had punched me in the heart when I saw her. Her eyes were swollen. She had cut off most of her hair and a hat hid the few short strands that remained. Why had she cut off her mermaid hair?

“They’re getting worse,” Juanita said. “I spent the day praying that you wouldn’t come. Please forgive me. I know it’s not your fault. My mama has been waiting for someone like you for a long time. But she’s not the only one, you know. There are many people out there just waiting for someone to ask them about their lives. Why did you pick her?” She took off her hat. “This morning I went to a salon and asked them to cut all my hair off. They hesitated. Asked me if I was sure I wanted to do that.” She put her hat back on. “I didn’t have a choice. It had to be done. Do you want to know why?”

My stomach begged for air. I nodded.

“Ever since your last visit she’s had panic attacks every night. But last night was the worse one yet. When my sisters and I arrived, she was lying on the couch reading the Bible. We stayed with her the entire night, held her hand, and rubbed alcohol on her chest. We even read her scenes from her romance novel. She fell asleep around four in the morning. I told Benita and Marta to go home.” She exhaled. “I lied down on the floor next to the couch and fell asleep. About an hour later, my mama woke up screaming, begging God to forgive her. She repeated the words, ‘I’m sorry I lied. Forgive me, Mama.’ When I tried to calm her, she took hold of my hair and wouldn’t let go. The more I tried to get free, the stronger her grip got. ‘I’ll save you, Mama. I won’t let go,’ she said.

“I thought she was going to rip my hair right out of my head. I quit trying to get free and rested my head on her chest, her fingers still grasping my hair.” Her eyes welled up. “She doesn’t remember.”

She walked into the kitchen. I followed her. My mind had been so preoccupied by Professor Smith I had decided not to eat in the cafeteria. Instead, I bought a hot dog from a street vendor and ate my lunch on the front steps of one of George Washington University’s buildings. I had no way of knowing whether or not Elena had been to work today.

“I’m not going to ask you to tell me what she’s been saying to you. It’s none of my business. But I am going to ask you to leave her alone.” Her eyes penetrated my skin.

I lowered my head.

“I’m sorry but I can’t do that,” I said, my voice low. “She needs to unburden herself.”

Juanita stepped forward and lifted my chin. “And what do you need? Why are you doing this?”

My lips quivered.

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